thewordsofclayton:

sirtarantino:

a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

Good

(Source: sofiajonze, via bitchassunicorn)

butttom:

liam while everyone sings him happy birthday tho look at him look at his face i see tears in his eyes he is screaming inside he cant belieb

image

(via bitchassunicorn)

frickingirish:

did greg really google his nan 

image

(via sublime-radiance)

kimpissible:

when your mom calls you down for dinner and you get there and its not readyimage

(via gnarly)

pizzoner:

I imagine bumping into my internet friends on the street like “sor-YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(via verticaliciouss)

localnativity:

when life gets hard just remember dicks get hard too but they don’t stay hard forever and pretty soon things cool down and go back to normal just stick it out when it’s done you’ll feel a lot better

(Source: uncooler, via greed)

averagefairy:

when youre laying down and your pet walks across your internal organs and youre like OW FUCK and they dont even care they just keep standing on your spleen like its their job

(via niallofficul)